hello there! 
I won't lie, I've tried to re-start blogging several times and each time it failed due to a plethora of things,  
but *mostly* insecurity, fears of not being perfect, wanting to seem put together, fears of my friends seeing it, yknow... insecurity. 
 
So this time I'm gonna try to write it more like just typing to myself? 
just way more like how I journal. 
 
And I'm not gonna lie, I don't particularilly want to share this with my friends? 
or at least, that's not really a goal. I don't want it to be another thing I avoid like the plague because of my fucked up and insecure brain. 
 
 
 
So! 
 
I'm svki, suki, katie, or eliot depending on the moment, and this is my blog. 
 
I'm *hopefully* gonna talk about just whatever is on my mind. 
any projects, ideas, ponders on existence or photography or art, just like, maybe two notches below the personal...ness of my journal. 
 
I'll try not to care who's gonna read this, maybe I'll even shove this off to a new domain so it's not so tied to my IRL stuff. 
 
 
 
 
Ideas! 
 
Well some of the things I wanna do right now are kinda mundane but maybe that's a good thing. 
 
I wanna: 
	- swap out the IDE controller on my Brand New Phat PS2 for one of those fancy SATA upgrade ones.   
	- set up picoboot on the gamecube I was given by my lovely ghost   
	- get everything together for a GBS-Control board, since having old stuff on both CRTs and VGA sounds rad   
	- S-Video mod my 13" BA-3 trinitron, or RGB mod my 20" BA-2 maybe? (this one's kinda scary, 20-30Kv scares me more than pretty trans girls on "Tik Tok")   
	- uhhhh, program literally anything for PSX & PS2! I love those consoles & finally got to softmod* them. (freepsxboot & freemcboot)   
	- try to stay positive in the face of my deteriorated and scarilly-anhedonic mental health. <3   
 
 
 
Also, you'll see there's another post on here from like a year ago at this point, it was my earlier try at this! 
I think this kind of writing fits me a lot more. 
 
And yeah, I'm scared because I'm writing this a lot more personal and mentioning my mental health a lot more than what I used to think okay, but... 
I'd way more rather write like this & be personal than 5 years down the line looking here and seeing nothing, lamenting being stuck in the same rut. 
 
I'd be way happier having wrote like this. 
 
 
 
I'll see you soon & yours truly, 
	svki/katie